feeling kinda discouraged for certain reasons that i couldn’t name.

i feel like teleporting myself to the seaside, don’t care the wind blows my hair messy, stare into the sky and wonder why it is in such a faint but dear blend of colours, squat down by the sandy beach and watch the quaint crabs crawl, eat a single scoop of strawberry ice-cream…

i wanna have a Grande cuppa hot chocolate from Starbucks, with extra dosages of whipped cream…

i wanna hug a sheepdog, fall asleep with it as my pillow…

i wanna fall in love with a new book, a new person, or a new song, reminding myself that i am feeling what i’m feeling, is because i am human…

all in all, i wanna halt this pity party, and pick up myself after a good conversation, or a good cry, or a good conversation with good cry.

did i ever tell you, i really admire Yoshitomo Nara? i strongly dig the blend of pastel hues he used, and certainly the character/personality that he painted through his works of art.

is love at first sight, dated year 2005.

1月

我的21岁的生涯，戏剧性的程度，都到可以拍摄偶像剧的程度了。

怎么啦，春天是哭泣的季节吗？跨年哭，爸爸生日哭，写简讯哭，聊天哭，工作哭，祷告哭，行驶哭，好似把一生的眼泪都哭光了。

我对于一直包容的事情…觉得累了，选择放手了。需善后的事情多得很，心理上的压力、负担，其实都很沉重。可是人，却松了一口气。好像失去了什么，却又得到了什么。好奇怪。

决定退出领导团队，暂时停止长期的事奉。学院倒闭，奖学金告吹。好清闲，可是没时间胡思乱想。因为我要重新出发，专心一志地维护与神最重要的关系。

2月

情人节、生日。

成立了 storybook.bygabrielle 开始写新故事。

送了份礼物给自己–手写板。

3月

感冒，病了好长一段时间。告假到海边去，松弛心情，也顺便散散心。

换了台手机。

4月

新加坡第一趟旅行。见了很久没见的远亲，见了很久没见的朋友。

走很多路，也聊了很多，哭了，还被狗咬了。

回家了，CPU mainboard 被雷打坏了。不修了，还是干脆点，换了台 notebook。

讨厌、生气、愤怒的感受，一一从心里萌生。

5月

得到了一段意想不到的友谊。

过了难忘的一年，长大了，我…22岁了。

谅解、释怀。

不舍得把头发给剪短，后来给自己烫了头浪漫的卷发。

6月

新加坡第二趟旅行。

我又病了，因为…思念，是一种病。

禁食 ramly burger 一个月！切切地为了通过入学考而祷告……

7月

耶，祷告被应许了，我开学啦！

同窗们都好有才华，自己的能力显得软弱了些……特别挣扎以马来文为媒介语……

但，没关系，输在起跑点又如何？不要输在终点就好了 :)

8月

大学行程很难适应……时常在上课时打盹……生病次数逐渐频密。

看了部很感人的动画……《UP》实在棒！

我知道谁最能把我弄哭。我累了，对喜怒哀乐也不诚实。

我需要的，只是能令我安心的友谊。在最真实的朋友面前，我，是我自己。

谁能拉没自信的我一把？

9月

第一次与大学同学旅行！

开始参与 Nikki 的生命……一段令人感动的旅程。

10月

好朋友离开身边……好像失去了什么……

成立新小组，有很漂亮的新组员 :D

很高兴，很快就能打成一片。

11月

古晋之旅。

欣赏了部很棒的纪录片…… Michael Jackson – This Is It。感叹演艺圈失去了这么一位敬业的巨星。

12月

第一次大学考试，加上一年一度的 children camp，预习 + 筹备得很疲惫……但实在很兴奋！

第一次参与电影制作，当了回临时演员，啊……我真不是演戏的料啊……

为了电影，把发尾染黑、剪短刘海……瞬间年轻了 8年。2010年记得收看本地制作的马来版——小孩不笨！

列《十月围城》为 2009 最佳影片，叹为观止……画面美得令我感叹，哭得稀里哗啦。

“how to ask you out, you’re SO busy!”

is this familiar to you? fret not, here i provide you a clear direction in tackling the situation…

below is my scheduled lectures and practices…

after 31824613631 times of rearrangements… so far, i think this is the trusted copy, although the time is quite feasible to further changes.

indications:
Black - Film Major Subjects
White – Compulsory Subjects
Pale Yellow – Elective Subjects
Pale Blue - Tutorial Day
Pale Pink - Seniors’ Final Year Project
Grey - Uncertain, feel free to fill in these slots, they are open for your reservation, or… (well for most of the break times, i call them sleeping time or steal-the-library’s-internet-time)

except for Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, feel free to ask me out on any evenings :)

i will still attend to emergency calls, coz i think nothing’s more important than relationships/kinship. or else, studies would be my priority, fun time can be for the weekends/leisure hours.

well, that’s all. i ♥ you for reading this!

i reached home about 12a.m., sneaked in 2 big plastic containers as my daddy was sleeping…

so is Day 0 with these kiddo…

isn’t she’s so cute? Yang had the privilege to be the first being bitten by her, twice :P

active hammie running on the wheel… well, boys are boys.

i brought this kiddo to KL from Penang, supposed a Christmas gift for Jun Meng, but eventually he ended up being mine. have to separate him from the other 2 ’cause they don’t get along to well. the other poor guy died a few days after i gave them away, such trifling creatures, sigh…

there were a huge bunch of them… when they were in the pet shop, they were so tiny, so cute and quaint. Jun Meng wanted the Winter Dwarfs, so i got a pair 2 boys for him since he doesn’t want them to breed and flood his house :P

the purpose of going to Penang…

is to collect this fluffy Christmas gift for Sabrina!

Jun Meng said, “the dog will eat them…” and what the heck, i believed his words and worried the whole night.

–

here’s Jun Meng saying goodbye to the hammies…

now… with my negativity, i just hope they don’t die so soon… so i shall not name them. you know, the emotional affection thingy.

–

hmm… i wonder how will daddy react when he see these cuties?

did some late night grocery shopping.

Tesco started this “save the environment” thingy, and decided not to give us any plastic bags… so being a considerate consumer, i threw all my groceries in the cart and roll them over to my car… i wonder how am i gonna move these stuff into the house?

thank goodness when i reach the parking lot, i found a nice environmental friendly bag in my car… it fits my groceries, just perfectly! i think exhaustion is taking its toll on me, so i better get moving… however, looking at the empty cart, i thought to myself, “since i tried being a considerate consumer, why not be a helpful citizen in pushing my own cart back to its station?”

and there comes the horror…

i locked my car keys… IN THE CAR!!!!!!!!!

i stare blankly into my car and figured all sorts of ideas that i would most probably… not do. thoughts like… ingeniously use a thin metal piece to screw open the very fragile kancil door? NO. call for help from a locksmith? NO. smash the windows? NO. hopefully i dropped the keys on the safe ground? NO NO NO i did not.

was kinda reluctant to seek help from daddy, but anyway, i called… and by the way, he slept and phone was switched off, argh.

so i interrupted my brother’s fun time, and be a bad Jie-jie to instruct him the master plan of Saving-Your-Sister-Out-From-Trouble, and basically forced him and his 6 other friends to come. Yang came to the rescue at about 12:30a.m.

i found no interest to be waiting for him in the crowded mamak stall, so i went to sit at my favourite corner in The Curve… if you could guess where is it, i’ll make you sandwiches.

felt so discouraged, but surprisingly, i am okay.

拥有这种程度的冷静…我还真是了不起。但，闷闷不乐的感觉，真的很不好受。说实在，我宁可大哭一场。

–

Avatar 3D was good, and the computer graphics were impressive. however, i keep feeling as if i’m watching a sci-fi 3D animated Pocahontas… the movie was 2 hours and 40 minutes long, and wearing the 3D glasses became a painful experience for most of us. i basically surrendered to my drowsiness half way through and woke up few minutes later for the climax. i have pretty short attention span, the most i can concentrate is for an hour or so, and then my mind will begin wander, or i will doze off to dreamland.

do share with me if you have tricks to overcome this, i don’t want to annoy my lecturers with this habitual problem.

busted, even Json captured it… T___T