since i have nothing better to do (other than eating a packet of nasi lemak with my favourite sunny side up) at this ungodly hour, i decide i should come say hi.

i never liked anchovy, but just for tonight, i’m gonna finish them. because this is specially packed by my leng-zhai brother, it’s not spicy at all. for the past 2 weeks, him and i talked more. we spent time watching anime together.

for the past 2 weeks, i’ve been a little emotional. i am always scolded. i think scolding isn’t the best way to give vent, and i hate people doing that. but it feels funny when i don’t actually hate the person who did that. i did not fight back his words, but neither did i confront him for doing that to me so often.

it’s really hard to take, when the person is someone i really wanna love unconditionally. it feels just so real, i felt hurt. every time it happens, i’d rather he take away my life… i hope time passes faster, quickly get over. can i still love him unconditionally, even when i feel so depreciated? dear God, i need strength.

what happened to the sweet goodnight kisses? they are just too good to be true, aren’t they?

when it’s time to rationalize, he failed to first listen from me. when he realize i’m not in the wrong, i am already wounded. i didn’t expect for apology, but i hope there will be understanding. am i not worth the trust?

for the past 2 weeks, i took much faith to make changes. repenting on my punctuality, tone down my arrogance, learning to appreciate, recognizing stumbling blocks… this transition period, it takes courage to face, and faith to hold on strong. i am feeling unexpectedly encouraged for the input and feedbacks, for the wonderful time spent , for the assurances, for the change, for the attention, for the chance and privilege.

for the past 2 weeks, it’s been great to be involved in people’s life. it feels amazing to be a part of something. studying the Bible, instant messengers, sports, evangelism, meals & calls… it’s great to be occupied, but i need to take care of the time and make sure i eat on time, get enough rest and drink enough water. time to think and reflect, time to be quiet in reading the Bible and talking to God, time to relax and time to be spent with my family. really, there’s a time for everything!

lee hooi min, carry on the patience. when the very day comes, you’ll know it’s worth every effort.