i stepped into 2009, loosing almost everything i wanted.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ship, _ _ _ _ _ _ ship, & _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ship.

i guess you filled in the blanks & understood i also lost my scholarship. reason being, the college closed down… and automatically, my 50% scholarship is terminated. so far, my life has been pretty dramatic, i wasn’t really surprised that this could actually happen.

however, it is still a difficult fact to be accepted. i couldn’t sleep well until today, and i have allowed the emotions to sink-in so i could cry & mourn a good deal of about 2 days. if you’d ask me now, i would have smiled & say i’ve surrendered to that; i just gotta open up for other opportunities, then let go & let God decide what’s best for me. but not many could have related to how disappointed & frustrated i was… looking at my miserable academics future.

let’s not be negative & look at the bright side…

i’ve come to my understanding that i’m only loosing things that i wanted. in fact, i could still survive without them. and it seriously proven, God only provides what He thinks i need best. now that i have lesser distractions, i can entirely focus into my personal relationship with Him!

now that my direction is not of my own plans, and it actually became short-sighted and grown blurry, it makes me ponder, “what’s next?”

“move along.”

and again, hello 2009 :’)

–

“love your neighbour as yourself.”
i love you for who you are, wasn’t because i have a heart bigger than yours, but simply because  i hope you’d do the same to me.