pardon me for my dramatic blog title. but… i have made a bold decision to say goodbye to my love, and i think it is only fair that i convey my love and last words. until… i see it in another 2 months time.

.
…
…..
…….
………
………..
………….
……………
………….
………..
………
…….
…..
…
.

sp_a0070

my Ramli darling, goodbye.

HA-HA.

i actually just made the silliest yet bold decision to begin fasting… fast food & Ramli burger.

i have too much to name… favourite food, and lately i discovered i can’t part with… McValue Lunch, and i am an ever faithful Ramli burger lover. i… even reach out to my Ramli burger stall keepers!

–

here’s the reason why.

there’s a period of time whom i felt a lack of motivation to work, i decide to pour it out to some of my dear friends. i basically felt kinda discouraged, emotional and lost… not too certain of what i wanted for the future. and in the midst of me feeling demotivated… i asked God to show me directions, and let me know what can i do.

God knows my heart, and he answers my prayer accordingly, and without notice, i’ve grabbed hands full of resources in discovering “what i want to do”. i resorted to many quality time spent with some dear ones, and listening through some powerful sermons and quiet time.

also, i was recommended to check out ASWARA when i sought some advice from a Prof in University Malaya. it is a National Arts Culture and Heritage Academy. honestly speaking, their web content doesn’t really draw my attention, and with my busy schedule and a big bunch of excuses, i tucked it aside…

it was on the 5th of this month, i gave driving directions to Corrinne and her friends there… Tammy-lookalike-May, whom wanted to check out the music faculty, and so i thought “why not?”, i simply grabbed my printed portfolio, resume, and the whole list of certifications.

we touched down the place, met some friendly facilitators and… i immediately fell in love with the academy! the study environment, and the multicultural atmosphere. although being surrounded by plenty of weird stares from the other students… i somehow feel out of place, but academically, i think it doesn’t matter what skin colour i have.

i was told that the academy closed their intake for year 2009, just last month, but the academic intake only commences on July, hence the opportunity of enrollment is still hopeful. i always believed “ask and it shall be given”, since i’m already there why not try asking… and i was given a chance to present my portfolio!

as for May, she was contemplating to try next year, but we were all encouraging her to not give up easily, at least try asking for a chance/exemption. eventually what she get is pretty miraculous… we hung around the academy, walking aimlessly and eventually were attracted by someone whose practicing flute (or clarinet??)… hence we slow down our footsteps. little did she know, she stood right in front of a door of opportunity.

we met this lady whom obviously works in ASWARA, and after a talk with her, she rang up the in-charge person of May’s supposed interview. after some arrangement, she was allowed to audition Violin and Guitar on the spot!

as for me… after the weekend, i revisited the place, and am hopeful i am not too late for submission. to my surprise, the facilitator came out with the enrollment form, and directed me to sit for an exam. my jaw dropped on the spot when i was told that the exam pieces are 100% in bahasa. i am supposed to complete 30 objective questionnaires, write 1 essay, and complete 10 storyboards.

with the 30 questions, i can only be confident to say that i answered 10 questions accurately. as for the rest… 50% of them, is that i have not studied the names, and the other 50% of them… i don’t quite understand the meaning of the words. i think i flung any questions that has to do with traditional art…

as for the essay and storyboard writing… i would say i am pretty confident with my writing… but i wrote them in English. funny how i answered a bahasa paper in English. i seriously crosses my finger, and hope they would accept the nonsense of me having to be educated for more than 10 years… my bahasa proficiency is still as poor.

when i completed my exam, i was told to attend an interview. but we waited for a while, and found out the interviewer wasn’t available for interviews, and so it was canceled. negative thoughts strike through my heart, and i can feel the discouragement sinking in. i thought i did badly for the exam, and with this canceled interview, i don’t think i stand a high chance in GETTING it.

however, another candidate was saying, “i think we stood a high chance, believe that you have already get it!” he was pretty optimistic, and being him as who he is… it encourages me in listening to that. yeah, i should be more confident and kick off the self-pity. i never knew what my powerful God will be able to do for me… my lord, show me the glory of yours!

–

thank you, you, to have spend so much time reading my long winded post. but this opportunity seriously means a lot to me, i would appreciate if you could keep me accountable in fasting and prayer, or sometimes… keep me encouraged and have my head held high in trusting God that he always wants the best for me.

i feel the need to spoon out some more time in reading, and reflecting, and giving thanks, and planning…

playwithmeee_01

and so… i will be away this weekend from my PC, and homeland.

ickle_shore3“a reflective moment… shh.”

as i am away this weekend, here i share with you a cool blog – Milk Toof, ickle loves reading, and Lardee adores heavily sweetened milk. and as for me, i’ll be back on Monday!